In a society that claims to emphasize equality amongst sexes, it seems contradictory that a concept as archaic as chivalry would still govern the basic manners and behaviors of men. Chivalry has long been associated with knights in shining armor whose main purpose was to swoop in and rescue weak and feeble women.  Today, the shining armor has been replaced with simple but polite gestures such as holding open doors, allowing women to exit elevators first, and throwing coats in puddles so a woman can walk through it intact.   While chivalry no longer involves a coat of arms and a sword, what does remain is the unwavering notion that men must act in a particular way not only because it is polite, but because it is presumed that women are weaker and in need of assistance whereas men are the ones who, because of their gender, must make sacrifices.

While there is certainly nothing wrong with good manners, the idea of Chivalry, a “code of ethics” founded solely on gender, is one of the many concepts today that unjustly separates men from women. Although chivalry may seem harmless, it ultimately sets up unequal standards for how men and women should behave.  These standards of how someone is supposed to act based on his or her gender stifle individuality, and lead to an inequality that is often overlooked.

Despite society’s assertion that people have control over their individuality, the fact remains that before we have taken our first breath, made our first noise, thought our first thought, much of who we is determined by our sex. Before we have left our mother’s womb, our clothes are picked out, the colors to our room are decided, and people prepare for WHAT we are going to be rather than WHOM.

At a young age, this division in gender becomes clear: girls are subjected to princesses and taught to be petite and delicate, and boys are subjected to superheroes and are taught to be brave and heroic. While these can be positive attributes, the fact that they are assigned to a gender illustrates society’s flaw of categorizing people before they are born. Just because a person is male or female, that does not mean he or she will enjoy what society expects them to enjoy.  

Since these attributes are assigned to a person at birth, people find it strange, and sometimes unacceptable, when these foundations are broken. A boy playing with Barbies will be ridiculed; a girl that is a “tomboy” will find it hard to assimilate with her peers. If a guy were to become a cheerleader, he would receive a much more negative reaction than if he were to be involved in sports. The question then arises: why? Why can’t a boy play with Barbies? Why can’t a girl be a tomboy? Why does society dictate that women must like romances, be emotional and into fashion, whereas men must like adventure, be stoic and into sports? Perhaps these foundations have existed for too long to be broken.   Perhaps media has infiltrated our belief systems too deeply.

Some may feel that these divisions help keep society bound together, and that without these foundations, society would fall apart. However, people of this mindset again ignore the individual.  Both genders strive to meet the standards of society, and straying from this standard causes a sense of misplacement.  As men and women strive to be what society wants them to be—tall blonde and beautiful, or strong, brave, and masculine—they often wind up severing pieces of their individuality, all in name of being part of the majority.

What people need to realize is that instead of viewing a person based on WHAT they are, they should view people based on WHO they are. At an early age, a child should not have their life laid out for them because of their sex. If a boy wants to wear pink and cheer on the sidelines, he should be allowed to do so without opposition. If a girl wants to play with action figures and play football, she should be allowed to do so without disapproval. In a relationship, both members should be equal rather than having one person take charge because of his or her gender. Sure, there are biological differences between men and women that make us different, but these biological differences do notneed to translate into who we are as individuals.  While many have made great strides in recognizing this fact, too many still ignore it.